More Hong Kong

HK has been cool so far, except everything compared to SH is so much more expensive.  Maybe mainland has turned me into a friggin cheapskate.  Say it ain't so.  But it's cool cause I've been eating massive meals every evening visiting all my different relatives.  I even got to see my uncle's horse last weekend at the stables.  Did you know that horses can swim?  My uncle brought me to where they keep his racehorse and showed me how they exercise the horses in these swimming pools where they do laps.  Their feet don't touch the ground!

Today I am meeting up with Frankie, Caroline and Venus in Mong Kok, and area in HK where you can go shopping for mad cheap.  I was there yesterday actually and bought myself one of those traditional Chinese jackets.  It's black on the outside and gold on the inside, looks damn cool.  Got that whole Jet Li feel.

While waiting for Caroline today, there was all this commotion by one of the banks at the Mong Kok station.  It was CRAZY!  They had like 4 blocks of road sectioned off, police were everywhere, and people were running out of the stores with their hands up.  Since I had some extra time and have turned into a nosy mainlander, I stood around and watched.  I must have stood for about 3 hours trying to catch a glimpse of what was going on.

I overheard some old ladies and men chatting.  Something about a bank robbery, gun fire and lots of chasing.  Nutty, eh?  Within an hour that I was there, a helicopter began circling the skies and newscrew and photographers were on the scene.  But alas, I saw nothing... what a waste of time. 

I'm too bak gwa sometimes. 

A Taste of Civilization

Don't get me wrong, SH is cool and all, but after living in Toronto for so long, getting a taste of Western civ made me realize how accustomed I've become to China and made me miss, really miss, life outside of Big Brother's direct influence.  Riding into HK on train from GZ, I think I know what a mainlander would feel.  The bright lights the big city, all the wonderfully dressed people, clean streets, nice shiny cars... oh civilization once again.  The people are so civil here in HK, they actually line up!  I hope the habits I picked up in China budding into people doesn't get me into a good ass whooping.  Seeing my relatives made me feel so dirty I quickly opted to go to the hotel so I could at least wash my face, comb my hair and change into a new set of clothes.

Since getting in last night, I've been able to find an Internet bar so here I am, on Xanga.  I hope 3 weeks in HK will turn me back into a normal person.  First thing I need is a good scrubbing.  I feel almost racist for saying this, maybe I'm xenophobic, but the stark contrast of life in SH and in HK has made me realize how much more SH has to do.  GZ was even worse, the urban sprawl was a mess.  Whoever does urban planning there should get lynched.  I was on my cousin's rooftop looking at GZ and it looked like a big mess of buildings, different colours, sizes all mixed together and fucking dirty.

As for SH, the people have to change.  Save your spitting for private please, don't wear your pajamas in public, stop gathering around to watch whenever there is a dispute on the street, wash that greasy hair mr.mainlander, lower the screaming voices, stop littering and please learn to respect a queue.

It's my cousin's wedding tomorrow and since it is the first in the family, it's a pretty big deal, everyone's doing their last minute scrambling for the big day.  I don't remember the last Chinese wedding I've been to, this is going to be fun.

One more thing, for those of you who braved the picture from the previous post, please do not think it was me.  It was just something that I observed and thought I would share, I am much more responsible than that.  Even if it were me, I would not have taken a picture of it, and yes, my shit is coming out firm now.

Here's a good story (click pic)

20

That's about the number of times I have had to shit the last 2 days.  Why you ask?  Because some fucking assfuck of a fuckass doesn't know how to boil water properly here, or cook properly, or clean properly or something.  I've been having to run to the the damn crouching toilets almost every 2 hours because my bowels kept moving.  Now, normally diarrea doesn't scare me.  I've eaten wrong things before, and have shat runny shit for days many times and before.  But on top of the stomach pains, the cold freezes, the intestinal gas, this time, I started noticing blood when I wiped.  Upon closer examination of my stool, I noticed traces of blood.

I'm very stubborn about doctors and medicine.  I don't take medicine because I believe I have white blood cells for a reason.  Besides, if my body is used to being fed medicine every time the little tummy wummy aches, how the hell am I going to handle a big situation?  Well, blood for me always equals a big situation.  If you ever travel to China, or anywhere in Asia, remember these 2 very important things:

1. Get all your necessary shots.  I don't remember what they are, ask your doctor.  Get them like 3-6 months in advance.  Yes Marv, get them now.

2. Buy insurance.  I've shopped around, The Co-operators work with a company that covers me here in SH for $1CDN a day.  That's the cheapest I found in Canada.  It covers all medical up to $5 Million CDN.  That means if I have to get heart surgery and the hospitals where you are don't have the facilities, you will be flown by helicopter to nearest one with the right facilities so that you won't die.

Why shots?  Because you can catch all this nasty stuff out here.  I was so ignorant to so many of these nasty diseases while I was in Canada.  You kinda take cleanliness for granted you know?  Shots help you defend against some of these viruses/diseases etc.

Why insurance?  Because in a city like Shanghai, when it comes to my health, I want to be given the best treatment.  I don't quite trust the hospitals here yet, nor the doctors.  They're like 10 times cheaper, but I'm not going to bargain with my life.  

Anyhow, to make a long story short, the American doctor looked up my ass, gave me some pills and sent me home.  My shit still comes every couple hours a day, but much less frequently and it is solid again, and no blood.  I was even okay to go out last night to Xin Tian Di and barhop till midnight, able to hit Rojam ladies night till 2, then Cashbox Karaoked till about 4am, accompanied a girl home (just dropped her off) sleep for about 2 hours and write an exam this morning at 8:30.

Well, Kerrey is such a hottie!  Very smart, very mature, and such a beautiful smile!!!!  But man, such a friggin' gold digger.  Where are the perfect ones???  WHERE?

Anyways, got to take a dump again.  When next I write, I should be in HK.  See you there.

PS: If you wanna see something nasty, click X.  That's the shit I have to put up with here sometimes.  (Not for the faint at heart, but after seeing this, I hope you can understand why it PAINS me right this very moment to have to even think about it!)

The Rainfall of Death...

I was going to wait a couple days, but this was quite urgent and needed to be addressed.  Friends, Roman's, fellow Xanga-ites, lend me your eyes for I have a very sad thing to announce to everyone.

After last night's rainfall, I awoke this morning to the sight of a very terrible thing.  This morning, in the parking lot, aghast at 9am, wide-jawwed, eyes wider than they have ever been, my heart stopped for a brief moment in time, for I noticed rust on several areas of my car.  My rims are starting to rust, the screws holding my brake pads are starting to rust, the chain and the pedals again, starting to rust.  My precious Yellow Lightning, my Yellow Beast of MackDaddyness is slowly being reduced to a piece of rotting metal.  Yes, it is still driveable, but it will never be the same, it is slowly dying.  Please join me in a brief moment of silence.

Speeding through traffic, weaving through all the locals, hopping curbs... brief, but oh such fond memories we've had together.  Although the bright yellow finish on my car still overshadows the growing rust, I look at older models, perhaps by a couple months that have rusted so much that the car might has well been brown.  Other yellows have faded, mine I fear, will fade as well.

Haven't they heard of stainless steel here?  Well, I guess that's what 115 RMB (about $20 CDN) will get you.  A piece of shit.  Well, it's still my piece of shit, and I'm still going to try to pick up with it.

"Hey baby, wanna ride?  Hop on the back and I'll pedal away... wheeeeeeeeee!"

Ramblings...

How do people keep their Xanga posts so damn short?  Explaining scenarios are just so hard to keep brief... the hardest essays in school were always that ones that were supposed to be kept under 500 words.

If you ever decide to come to China, you have definitely got to pick up a Lonely Planet China guide.  There aren't only cool tidbits on where to stay and where to eat, they've got a great historical blurb on China and many of the major cities that any traveller to China will visit.  Their guide to nightlife in SH is way off, but probably because this city changes literally overnight.  Damn, Chinese history is so interesting, I wish I took East Asian studies instead of crappy economics.

So this smoking problem, Fred couldn't have been more right saying that I'd start smoking in China.  Not that I'm addicted or anything (I know because I have no cravings or any need to resort to kirb's pocky sticks therapy).  Everyone and their dog smokes here and you can smoke anywhere you want, malls, buses, elevators, restaurants, etc.  But as someone trying to network in China, I am constantly trying to justify my foray into this unchartered territory or cigarette kingdom.  So here goes:

Apparently, it is a slight sign of disrespect to not accept another person's smokes here.  It is also a great ice breaker to offer someone who smokes (which is just about everyone) a cigarette here.  The 'correct' way to offer is with a smoke sticking out of an open pack offered to a new acquaintance (apparently it is considered rude to take one out of the pack and hand it to someone).  Theory tried and tested, I've been able to meet a couple managers and CEO's from this little maneuvre.  Okay, and a pretty girl here and there.  A little messed ain't it?

But admittedly, these aren't the only times that I smoke now.  Since I've been running extremely low on cash as of late, smoking a cigarette from a 10RMB pack of smokes is much cheaper than buying a 50RMB gin and tonic.  I hate chilling at a club without a something in my hand (yes, please enter jabs here).  Smokes have now become my cheaper alternative.  I'm old enough as it is, emptyhanded, being at these bars gives off 2 impressions.  To the younger ones, I'm just some old guy at the club, looking to pick up a young cow.  To the more mature crowd, I'm just a little Chinese kid who's up past his bedtime.  At least when I'm smoking or drinking, it takes away from me looking either way... (why am I so self-concious?).

I used to be so against smoking, I still am, and know that I won't get addicted.  Please don't let me be addicted.  My grandfather smoked everyday till the day he died at 80+ years, is this how he started?  Say it ain't so.

I guess I could stop partying and save money and all that jive but I thought I told you that we won't stop, I thought I told you that we won't stop, eh eh, eh eh...

Miss GuangDong (Canton) Parties it Up in Shanghai

I had yet another 3 day weekend this week.  I keep telling myself I'm getting too old for all this partying, I'm too broke and I'm too tired but every weekend brings on a new scenario that just twists my rubber arm into forgetting everything I've told myself.  This weekend was no different.

It starts on Thursday when I go to Pegasus usually.  It kinda sucks to go every Thursday to the same damn place and see the same damn ex-pat crowd.  Truthfully I'm kinda getting tired of it, but after a long week of studying, going out to see the peeps kinda feels good.  I went with Ivan, it's great that I can convince him to come out with me so much.  Laid back Thursday night.

My chess game with Rebecca is still going on, except my interest has completely waned.  She calls me quite often now though.  Girls are messed up that way, when you give them attention, they act as if they don't want it, and then when you decide you have better fish to fry, they come swimming back.  I also believe in the pheremone theory Kayako speaks of, and my pheremones are off the richter scale, how brutal.  Anyhow, I took Ivan, Chris and Ryuma to Q's (the bar Rebecca works at) on Friday night.  Rebecca called and told me she was working that night and wanted me to go.  She said her friend Lina would be there and since I wanted to hook Chris up with Lina, I decided to go.  Luckily, things with the two of them worked out and they have moved their relationship to the next level and started talking on the phone haha...

Since the bars close at 2am here, unless the owner of the bar has guanxi, the bars close on time.  Luckily, one bar us expats go to after 2 is Budda Bar.  I met a girl there last week (Kerrey) at Budda Bar and we agreed to hang out Friday night again.  I slipped out of Q's at around 1:30 and went to find her.  It was quite difficult communicating because of my primitive Mandarin but we managed.  I'll see what happens.  Anyhow, Rebecca noticed I left and kept calling my phone and sending me messages to ask me where I was.  Too bad my phone's batteries were dying and I couldn't call her back.  Oh yeah, and the music was too loud so I didn't hear the phone ring.

On Saturday, my cousin's girlfriend came up to SH from GuangZhou.  She's a 29 year old hottie and happens to be the former Miss GZ.  Her and 2 friends came up to party so I called Nick up and we went to Park97 with them.  Her friends were also hot, but about 30 as well.  It was a bit weird partying with them though, they obviously were much more mature than many of the students here.  They didn't look 30 though, I find Asian girls don't age as quickly, but if they were caucasian, they would have been cougars.  They had some guy friends here who were CEO's and GM's and what not.  Needless to say, we had it all hooked up.  Free drinks, VIP lounge, all the fun stuff.  Pretty girls always have hookups, it's no different in China.  We drank so much I had a hangover today again.  I also smoked a lot.  I've already written a lot, so I'll address this growing but containable smoking problem next time.

Oh yeah, here's a cool story: http://www.feer.com/articles/2002/0201_17/p012region.html

Top 10 Most Annoying Habits I've Picked Up in China

10. Peace sign when taking pictures
9. Piss in the showerstall
8. Stare at white people whenever I see them
7. Deteriorating Engrish
6. Smoke on occasion
5. Eavesdrop on people's conversations
4. Talk with food in my mouth
3.Haggle shopkeepers/cab drivers over 5 kuai ($1CDN) and refuse to do business otherwise.
2. Starting to believe in the magical healing properties of herbal tea
1. Hum Chinese pop songs when by myself

FACK.

Updates...

Well, I finally figured out where I can scan pictures. But the Photoshop that the computer over there has is in Chinese so I don't know how to properly crop and edit the images. This will have to do. Here I am stuffing my face at the all you can eat Japanese restaurant. Dana is nearly passed out beside me.  Yes I'm red because I had some drinks. If a group of you decide to come up to SH, I am going to take you to this wonderful restaurant where we can eat as much sushi as we like, and drink as much sake and beer as we like all for a measely $20 CDN.

Chinese New Year This CNY will be spent in HK.  I think I'll be there from Jan. 24th til Feb 15th.  My cousin is getting married, and it will be great not only to see family, but live in a clean place and sit on a toilet.  If any of you are in China, the cheapest way to fly to HK is inter-continent to Shenzhen or to Guangzhou, then take a train.  A return flight from SH to HK cost a bit over 4,000 RMB.  However a return flight SH to GZ is about 1,300 RMB, then a short train ride into HK is a couple hundred.  The train from Shenzhen is cheaper, but the customs at Shenzhen and HK border is crazy busy. Conference The conference is coming along, but I am hitting many kinks along the way.  I have to do a lot of the groundwork by myself because all the kids are studying for exams.  Then, I'm gone in February for CNY and it won't be until March that our committee will be able to sit together and seriously start working.  That has me worried because I think timewise, we will be cutting it close. Friends My friend Ivan, writes religiously to his girlfriend everyday.  I admire the dedication the two of them have in their relationship.  I hope I will be as persevering, although I am sure I will be when I find the one.  He also bought some hash the other day, and is proud he can say that he has experienced what a drug deal in China feels like.  Nick has been slowly starting to look for a real job here.  He had an interview just today with a TV company for SH.  It turns out that the production manager is Cdn and used to work for the CBC.  I think Nick might just have himself a new job. Since Linnet's boyfriend came back from Japan, I haven't really seen Linnet and Caroline all too much.  Caroline is going out with this Chinese guy Jeff from US now, so she's quite busy too.  Or at least gettin' busy. The new place I move into will be by Chris, James and Richard's place.  I haven't seen them all too much lately because they've been crashing out there, but I know I'll see them more when I move out with Ryuma. My New Crib I'll be moving in with Ryuma very shortly.  Rent is 2,500 RMB per month and won't include bills between the two of us.  I'm thinking of having a little housewarming party after I move in.  The furniture is kinda ghetto though, so I have to think of a way to make the place look nice before I get embarrassed.  My new bed is damn hard, which I don't mind, but perhaps my future partner might?  And it creaks when you move around on it.  My New Ride I've always wanted a canary yellow sports car.  I suppose a bike will have to do for now.  It is great because amidst the rows and rows of bikes parked at any parking lot (yes parking lot), I can spot mine a mile away.  I liken it to spotting the really nice sports car.  All the other cars just kinda fade into the background when you look it's general direction.  It's jokes because I refer to it as car whenever I speak.  I mean I've got keys and everything you know.  And I can soup (sp?) it up.  Many people soup up their cars here.  Standard is basket and bell but people also upgrade their seat, go for a side basket as opposed to a front basket or get an electronic bell as opposed to the ching ching one (you know what I'm talking about). I remember when I was a kid, I was so adamant against getting a bell on my bike.  Only the loser kids had the bell (yes I was cool).  My yellow beast of the road currently doesn't have one either, but I am thinking of getting one.  It might save my life one day.  Oh my how China is changing me.

My Shiny New Yellow Bike

These past 3 days have gone by really fast.  I've been really busy with shit, and now, to those who are coming to SH, I've finally found a place that I like and am going to rent (guys, when you come you'll finally be able crash at my place!).  My address will change, so those who will be writing me, be sure to ask me for an update (I've only received 1 piece of snail-mail since I've come, sniff).

I'm renting a place with Ryuma, it's a two bedroom, I'm actually waiting to go sign the contract as I write to you.  Rent is 2,500 RMB per month between the both of us which works out to a little more than what we currently pay, but I finally get a bathtub and a working showerhead (working? what do I mean working "A" showerhead), and a toilet where I won't have to crouch to take a shit.  (Man have I got a picture to show you!)

Living off campus has given me the realization that I will need a bike, so today, I finally got a bike.  I've been putting it off as long as I can, but slowly, society here is pulling me in.  First the bug infested dorms, then the crouching toilets and now the bright yellow bike.

The bicycle is the choice for mode of transportation here for many many many many many people.  It's funny because I mentioned telling you about my best friend's ride here, and here his ride is his bike.  There's a passenger seat on all bicycles here(actually, it is just a metal bracket that you sit on behind the seat) and people double up and ride all the time.  Until today, I've been the passenger for many, letting others do all the work, but today, much to my dismay, I've had to buy a bike.

So far, it's cut my day by about 1/3 and I save time by travelling by wheels.  But what does that really work out to if this bike is going to cause me to crash into an oncoming truck?

Happy New Years Everyone!

I am always one to try to play, to the best of my ability, the cards that I am dealt with in life.  On the one hand, being here in SH sucks.  I've been away from home many times, but I don't think I've ever felt this homesick before.  Perhaps it's because I've never been so far away for such a long time.  If any of you are considering some type of long term travel and have many people you dearly love back home, trust me, it's not going to be easy.  But life goes on, and as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so seeing friends when I do see them makes it feel all that much more better.

It's a new year, a brand new start and last night's New Year's party in SH was a little hazy, but lots of fun.  Many asked me what I was going to do, and we literally decided last minute on what to do for my birthday and for New Year's celebrations (not like the kirb and marvennium - how was that guys?).  We ended up having Japanese food at this place called Taro's near the Portman Hotel (where George Bush stayed).  It was awesome!  All you can eat AND drink for 130 yuan or about $20 CDN!  We had Japanese sushi, beer and sake and ate from about 7pm til 10 pm.  It was a great way to celebrate my birthday with a few of my closest friends here in SH.

Originally, after Taro's we had planned to go to Window's 2, a bar foreigners here go to for the cheap drinks (and nothing more).  Dana brought a bunch of us tickets to the Trader's Club at the J.C. Mandarin Hotel (another nice hotel) right across from the Portman's and suggested we go there instead.  Our plans immediately changed and after bottles and bottles of beer and sake, the group of us stumbled out of Taro's and into the J.C. Mandarin. 

The Trader's Club was a pleasant surprise.  Hot waitresses dressed with Santa hats and skirts serving free shots to everyone, blackjack and other gambling tables to win chips for free drinks and our friend Dana and his friends DJing and rapping in the background all in this nice hotel made New Years in SH a great experience.  We were all already drunk when we got to the bar, and drinks after that just made things messy.  I almost got into a fight with some Chinese guy because he stole my f*cking chips and many of my friends were being loud and obnoxious.  I also smoked again.  After the J.C. Mandarin, we went to Rojam til about 3 am because Chris wanted to meet up with this girl that he picked up the week before.  I got home by 4 and passed out on my bed... alone... soooo cold. 

Happy New Year's everyone.

I just developed a roll of film, as soon as I scan, more pictures will be littered throughout the site.