July 3, 2005

  • Where does he get those wonderful toys!?

    Batman Begins
    just came out in China a couple of days ago, and I got a chance to
    watch it today, and I must say that it was a jolly good frickin
    show.  It is a movie that I highly recommend and it must be seen
    at the movies, not from the bootlegged DVDs that someone may pass you.

    The problem with movies in China is that someone in the censorship
    bureau feels the need to alter foreign movies at the most inappropriate
    of times.  I can understand if there is sexual content (well not
    really) or excessive violence... I can understand Big Brother feels the
    need to cut out these "inappropriate" parts of the film.  However,
    in the last two non-bootlegged foreign films that I've seen in
    Shanghai, they have cut out scenes that do not fit the aforementioned
    categories.  My theory is that some wanker is sitting there trying
    to flex his bureaucratic muscle and just "decides" that he needs to cut
    something so he blindly picks
    snippets here and there.  It really pisses me off and disrupts the
    whole vibe of the movie.  I don't think anything needed to be cut,
    but then I guess it would look like someone wasn't doing their job.

    Having said that, I thought this latest one was dope.  They made
    Batman very human, all bruised up and such just like it's supposed to
    be.  And the TOYS!  He has the coolest toys!  It was
    also cool how they led into the next movie!

    Here's a cool article a friend forwarded me, masterfully disguised PR:


    Being Batman

    David M. Ewalt, 06.20.05, 7:28 PM ET



    NEW YORK - Dark clouds have gathered over Gotham. Crime is rampant,

    despair is widespread and no one is safe. Who will rescue the

    metropolis from itself, fight the forces of evil and save the good

    people of the city?



    Why don't you do it?



    Plenty of us would love to fight for truth and justice, if only we had

    magic powers or mutant genes. Americans love superheroes. Last

    weekend, Batman Begins was the No. 1 film in the country, pulling in

    $71.1 million over its first five days. The Batman movie franchise is

    also one of the most lucrative of all time, with five movies (not

    counting Batman Begins) grossing nearly $1 billion.



    Plenty of moviegoers had to leave those theaters a little sad that

    they can't fly through a city and crack muggers' heads. But don't

    despair--if Batman is to be believed, you can still save the day even

    if you're only human. Unlike Superman or Marvel Comics' (nyse: MVL -

    news - people ) X-Men, Batman doesn't have any superpowers. He

    survives on martial arts training, intense drive and a cave full of

    pretty serious psychoses.



    OK, so he also has a couple billion dollars. Batman's alter ego, Bruce

    Wayne, is an old-money heir and the owner of Wayne Enterprises, a

    massive international-technology conglomerate. In our Forbes Fictional

    Fifteen, we estimated his net worth at $6.3 billion. If he were a real

    guy, he'd be the 28th richest person in America, right behind News

    Corp.'s (nyse: NWS - news - people ) Rupert Murdoch.



    Wayne uses his riches and corporate connections to equip himself with

    the latest and greatest in military hardware, and uses those tools to

    help him fight villains like the Joker, the Riddler, and Ra's Al Ghul.



    But you don't have to be a billionaire to become a caped crusader.

    Using commercially available training, technology and domestic help,

    the average guy could conceivably equip himself to become a real-world

    superhero, provided he's got at least a couple million to spare.



    ***

    The Training

    Cost: $30,000



    You'd better be ready to defend yourself if you plan to take on all

    the thugs and super-villains that call Gotham home.



    In the new movie, young Bruce Wayne goes to Tibet on the mother of all

    study-abroad trips and ends up learning the martial arts from a group

    of vigilante ninjas called the League of Shadows. But similar training

    is available to those not lucky enough to get plucked out of obscurity

    by Liam Neeson.



    A good place to start would be an internship at the birthplace of kung

    fu, the Shaolin Temple in Henan, China. One month of training at the

    prestigious Tagou school costs about $740, including a private room

    and training with a personal coach. It'll take a while to get good

    enough to stop the Joker's worst thugs, though, so count on spending

    at least three years and about 30 grand for the trip.



    ***

    The Suit

    Cost: $1,585



    They say the suit makes the man, and Batman's no exception. Without

    his outfit, it'd just be Bruce Wayne running around out there, and

    there's nothing particularly scary about a billionaire playboy in his

    underpants.



    Batman's suit is a modified piece of infantry armor built by the

    applied sciences division of Wayne Enterprises. It's waterproof,

    bulletproof, knife-proof and temperature-regulating. Paired with an

    impact-resistant, graphite-composite cowl and spiked ninja-style

    gauntlets, it allows Batman to protect himself against everything from

    swords to machine guns. Wayne Enterprises also supplies Batman with

    his cape, a specially designed nylon-derivative fabric that stiffens

    when hit with an electric charge, allowing Batman to use it as a

    glider. All this doesn't come cheap. In the new movie, Wayne's told

    that the armor alone costs $300,000.



    Real-world superhero wanna-bes will have to go with a much more

    prosaic solution. We recommend a lightweight ProMAX OTV bulletproof

    jacket, which will cover your arms and torso for only $1,085. A decent

    Kevlar helmet will run about $500.



    Of course, if you don't want to lug around all that stuff, you could

    forgo the armor and just buy yourself a collectors-grade Batman movie

    costume for about $430. It won't provide any protection, but at least

    you'll look cool.



    ***

    The Belt

    Cost: $290



    Batman's utility belt was a recurring gag in the old 1960s TV show;

    every time the caped crusader got into a jam, he'd find the perfect

    deus ex machina right on his hip. Mister Freeze imprisoned him in an

    icy jail cell? Good thing he brought along the old Bat-defroster.

    Getting eaten by a giant carnivorous plant? Whip out the old

    Bat-defoliant.



    Needless to say, that's a source of never-ending angst for his

    enemies. In Tim Burton's 1989 Batman movie, after Jack Nicholson's

    Joker watches the Dark Knight fire wires out of a grappling gun and

    escape from his clutches by flying through the air, he asks the

    question on all our minds: "Where does he get all those wonderful

    toys?"



    The answer, unfortunately, is from Wayne Enterprises. Batman's utility

    belt is a one-of-a kind prototype climbing harness, paired with a

    magnetic grappling gun with a monofilament decelerator climbing line.

    Fortunately, you've got other options. A decent nylon utility belt can

    be procured for about $10 from any martial arts supply store. You can

    also equip yourself with:



    Climbing spikes: $70 (Black Diamond Spectre Ice Beak Ice Piton)

    Small digital cell phone: $150 (Motorola RAZR, with cellular contract)

    Ninja spikes: $10 (Set of three)

    Throwing stars: $30 (Set of four)

    Medical kit: $20



    ***

    The Car

    Cost: $2,000,000



    Forget sports utility vehicles--what you need is a "sports tank."



    That's what the producers of Batman Begins call the Caped Crusader's

    new ride, a repurposed military vehicle that can leap buildings and go

    from 0 to 60 in five seconds. Built by the Applied Sciences division

    of Wayne Enterprises, the "Tumbler" is meant to move soldiers through

    hostile territory--which explains the armor plating, jet engine and

    front-mounted dual .50-caliber machine guns.



    Unfortunately, most aspiring crime fighters don't have access to

    prototype military hardware, so you'll have to armor up a Hummer. But

    don't despair; Fred Khoroushi, president of Alpine Armoring, says

    there's plenty you can do with a stock car.



    For armor plating, you could use a composite material like silicon

    carbide, which will stop bullets but not weigh the vehicle down too

    much. Add all the electronics and gadgetry you want, including devices

    that will sense chemical, biological and radiological weapons. And the

    security system for this car won't just chirp and annoy the

    neighbors--how about delivering an electric shock to anyone who tries

    to open the door?



    Many of the coolest modifications--like oil slicks and built-in

    machine guns--are totally illegal in the U.S. But if you didn't care

    about the law, a fully pimped-out gunboat could be obtained for around

    $2 million, says Khoroushi, though you might not get it past your

    first speed trap. Keeping the Batmobile street-legal would run you

    only about $200,000. But where's the fun in that?



    ***

    The Cave

    Cost: $24,000 (for one year)



    Now that you've got all the cool gear, you need somewhere to stash it.

    Bruce Wayne once again lucks out by advantage of his birth. Stately

    Wayne Manor just happens to be atop a huge network of caves,

    accessible to the outside world through a hidden entrance behind a

    waterfall.



    Regular folks don't have access to that sort of resource. Besides,

    according to the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation,

    there are no natural caves or caverns of any size in New York City,

    the real-world "Gotham."



    So what's a budget-minded vigilante to do? We recommend you find

    yourself a nice out-of-the-way warehouse. In the outer boroughs of New

    York City, a decent-sized ground-floor commercial space can be leased

    for as low as $2,000 a month, particularly in isolated, questionably

    safe neighborhoods, exactly the kind of place the Bat would fly.



    ***

    The Alter Ego

    Cost: $1,109,574



    Bruce Wayne was born into money and the social elite, so he's no

    stranger to huge homes, fancy cars, nice clothes and splashy parties.



    But this conspicuous consumption serves a purpose, too. Wayne lives

    the high life as cover for his life as Batman. He goes to big parties,

    dates models and swigs champagne so people will think of him as a

    playboy, not as the kind of guy who hangs out in a cave, dresses like

    a bat and beats up muggers.



    To pull off a Wayne-style alter ego, your expenses would include the

    following, based on the Forbes Cost of Living Extremely Well Index:



    Clothing and accessories, including bespoke suits and shoes, Patek

    Phillippe watches and Tiffany platinum cuff links, would run $434,230.

    Food and dining, including regular doses of filet mignon, lobster and

    meals at the city's finest restaurants, would clock in at $233,844 a

    year. Entertainment, including tickets to all the city's best events,

    would run $144,000 a year. And count on forking over $297,000 a year

    on gifts, including Tiffany diamond earrings and necklaces for your

    lady friends.



    ***

    The Butler

    Cost: $200,000 a year



    Batman's secret weapon isn't a gun, Bat-arang or even the car. It's

    his faithful servant Alfred.



    Born in England, Alfred Pennyworth was hired by Bruce Wayne's parents

    to serve as Wayne Manor's butler. Upon their death, he raised Bruce on

    his own and today remains his closest friend, confidant and ally.

    Sure, he cooks, cleans and keeps appointments. But he also maintains

    the Batcave, helps build and repair Batman's gadgets and vehicles, and

    even tends to the crime fighter's wounds.



    So what would it cost to get help like this? "You can buy a Chevy

    Chevette or a Rolls-Royce, and either one will get you from A to B,"

    says Charles McPherson, vice chairman of the International Guild of

    Professional Butlers. "The cost depends on the lifestyle of the

    family."



    Inexperienced butlers just out of school earn annual salaries of

    around $50,000 to $60,000, says McPherson. But experienced help can

    easily pull in $125,000 to $150,000 a year, and a gentleman's

    gentleman like Alfred might earn $200,000 or more.



    ***

    The Bottom Line

    Final Cost: $3,365,449



    The Training: $30,000

    The Suit: $1,585

    The Belt: $290

    The Car: $2,000,000

    The Cave: $24,000

    The Alter Ego: $1,109,574

    The Butler: $200,000