April 25, 2002

  • North Korea


    Ryuma just got back from a 3 week stint in Japan.  He also just got married.  When he told us, we were all blown away.  Anyhow, he's having a bachelor party (because he missed it) in Osaka in July, so I'm thinking of going.  Just have to figure out how many times I need to sell my body to get over there.  Probably just once. 


    So the other story I wanted to tell you about is about North Korea.  Nick's friend's friend is an EU correspondent.  He was put in charge of reporting on the results of the North Korean president Kim Il Jung's (?) visit to Russia and Putin.  For those of you don't know, Kim is quite a paranoid fellow.  He's always thinking people are always out to kill him and shit.  Also, he doesn't like flying in planes, so his trip to Moscow entailed a several day long journey by train.


    His train was a special train.  There was a train in front and behind for extra protection.  The train he was in had various "requirements" for him and his elite band of followers.  It was its own cart with all the presidential goodies that come with it.  He requested it of course, state of the art technology, bulletproof windows, high tech computers, Internet connection and Counter Strike.  Yes, Internet gaming is in the Korean blood north and south!


    So this guy, Kim, the North Korean president, on his whole train ride down to Moscow is playing CS.  He's playing on more than one computer too.  Icing on the cake is during every stop on their way to Moscow while they were in Russia, they picked up prostitutes, picking them up from one town, dropping them off in the next and loading a new batch on.


    SO, let's analyze this.  Generally, this is probably every guy's dream.  Hot chicks and CS while travelling from A to B, what better way to kill time?  But this guy is the president of a friggin country!  There are millions of people starving under him.  They are one of the most isolated countries in the world.  And did I mention that his favourite movie was Rambo? 


    Anyhow, he arrives in Moscow, and all the while Putin is in the general vicinity ready to accept his comrade.  He doesn't actually want to wait there because it would have just made him look dumb.  Desperate for diplomatic relations, for Putin this visit is extremely important.  After 7 more hours in Moscow (no doubt due to some more CS) Kim finally steps out of the train.  Putin is notified and is rushed to the scene.  They shake hands, and Kim runs back into his train.


    Now this may be all heresay, but Nick's friend seems pretty reliable.  So if you were this EU correspondent, what would you write in your report?


    This is another ASES picture.  It is me and China (HK included).  Can you pick up the mainlanders from the hk fobs?


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