Duped
Getting a haircut in SH is one of those dreadful things that I have no choice but to go through. It's like shitty tasting medicine. You don't really want to go through with it (I don't want them to brutalize my hair), but is something that's inevitable because things will be better. What is worse is that it does make things a little better, but sometimes things can turn out for the worse...
In TO, I'm used to getting a haircut about every 2 - 3 weeks (how vain!). Some gawk at this little ritual, but for me it's a very relaxing and positive experience. Kinda like the guy version of the manicure, pedicure, hairdo etc. into one. It feels good getting primped (minus the R) up and being served, yes, like an emperor. I'm reminded by the bath Eddie Murphy gets in Coming to America.
In SH, there's a barber shop every 10 walking steps. The familiar swirly sign thing (I don't know what it is called) adorns any street you walk down in SH, everything from big chains to small mom and pop shops. There are so many it is a wonder they all survive. The small ones are usually run by an old man/woman with little or no teeth and the big and medium ones are always adorned by beautiful women by the door, with welcoming smiles. For the males, the women there wash your hair, massage your scalp and then leave your hair to be cut by a male pot-bellied local with a cigarette hanging from his lip.
By the school, there is 1 big one, 2 medium sized ones and 1 small one. I'm not sure if you have heard of some of the shady things that can go on at these barber shops here in SH, but it can get really shady. Here a "Wash and Blow" can sometimes mean just that. My roommate, Soong, walked into one by the school (he claims unknowingly) and after they washed his hair they asked him if he wanted a massage. He agreed to one and was then led to a room upstairs where they proceeded to give him a massage. They started to massage his chest and move down his body. He kinda trails off into Mandarin I don't really understand at this point, but I get the picture. With this in mind and stories that Andy and Kirby tell me about coupled with my primitive Mandarin ability, I hope you can understand my apprehension of visiting a barbershop when my fro just gets out of hand.
On Saturday I decided my hair was getting too wild and just had to go. I went with a friend to the big one by campus, it looked the least shady and the most professional looking. With my fingers I made the scissor cutting motion and the pretty ladies inside escorted me to my chair. For an instant, getting a shady massage didn't sound like a bad idea after all, but the 'nice personality' girl that ended up washing my hair made me scold myself for thinking such bad thoughts. Here the hairwashing is all done in your chair. I don't know how they do it, but they've perfected the wash without needing a faucet of running water at their disposal (except for rinsing). The girl washed my hair and massaged my scalp for about 20 minutes. It felt sooo good. Okay so far, so good.
When it was time to rinse, the girl led me to the sinks where they rinse the shampoo out of your hair and proceeded to rinse. Everything was going fine until she was almost done. She leaned over and whispered softly, "Are you interested in a massage?" Only to be met by a firm, "N..n..n..no, thank you." She led me back to my chair, and started to give me a massage. I thought to myself, "Hmm... she did hear no didn't she?" but since my friend sitting beside me was also getting a massage, it felt okay. And no, it wasn't a shady massage, but it certainly was a shitty one. Just head and shoulders and arms, okay fine, so my $25 RMB haircut will cost me a little more (I had to pay $10 for the shampoo). By the time my friend and I were done, she was being led upstairs for a French Manicure and I was being led to get my haircut.
The guy that cut my hair was a middle aged dude, that dressed like he was 20. Yes, I'm sure he's one of the 'old' guys at the club, if you know what I mean. He asked me what kinda haircut I wanted, I told him shave the sides and back, trim the top. He said he'd bring me a book to show me pictures. By the 2nd page of heads, I was getting impatient and made the mistake of telling him to do what he thought best. He convinced me that what I wanted wasn't really what I wanted, and offered a suggestion. He said it would look really good on me, and when I asked him the price, he said very cheap $150 RMB. I told him I was a student and had very little money. He asked me how much I had on me, he wanted to give me a discount. I tried to fish out only $100 RMB, but the second one flashed its ugly face and forced me to admit I had $200. Before long he and his colleague were twisting my hair with these little foil things. I swear, I thought he was going to give me dreadlocks or something, but by the time I felt that I really didn't want to go through with it, it was past the point of no return.
Keeping in mind that a decent meal can cost under $10 RMB and a cheap haircut can cost you $5 RMB, having to pay $170 RMB for mine left a bad taste in my mouth. Those fukkers snaked me, but I wasn't assertive enough to say no. Half of me, (okay the vain half might have a little more control than just half of my rational judgement) wanted to see how the hair would look, and more so than a lesson of assertiveness, this incident has tried once again to drive home the unimportance of superficiality. I hate society for conditioning us to be this way. So, Kirb, you asked me who in our group is like George Costanza? I fret at having to admit that Costanza might be me, but after this haircut, I look like Cosmo Kramer. My hair stands on end permanently, frayed and frizzed at the top, shaved up at the sides... permanent bedhead.
Oh and my friend who got a wash, massage, manicure and cut? She only paid $85 RMB. Where is the angry face? >:(
Happy Belated Ming.
Must stay positive, ah yes, it's almost Friday, and on Friday's, it's my turn to be the student.
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